I hear it all the time. Couples come to me after going through every
other marriage improvement method under the sun and tell me they
experience a brief sense of relief from a certain program, but with
passing of time, they fall back into their old ways.
This got me thinking. With the millions of books and seminars
available to struggling couples on how to make a marriage last, why
hasn't the divorce rate gotten any better?
I came to realize the reason is that expert advice is based on the
core idea that if you "do the right thing", your problems will be
solved.
If this core idea were actually true, the divorce rate would be
dropping. It’s not.
For 27 years I struggled in a miserable marriage as I read every book,
attended every seminar, and listened to every tape set that I could in
an effort to find out why my marriage was so difficult.
These resources gave me advice like, "start holding your wife’s hand
to reignite intimacy in your relationship". At the time, that was the
LAST thing I felt like doing. I was so loaded with resentment towards
my wife, I could hardly stand to be in the same room with her let
alone hold hands!
This advice (like all other advice) was telling me to “do good, then
you will feel good”.
But then I realized this simple truth: You have to FEEL GOOD FIRST,
before you can do good things for your marriage.
Finally after my 27 years of constant searching, I discovered how to
eliminate my negative feelings in 60 seconds. And ever since then, my
relationship with my wife has never been the same.
During those years, I discovered a second secret of how to make a
marriage last. But first let me ask you, were you programmed for a
failed marriage? Keep reading to find out what I mean.
After you attend a marriage seminar, counseling session or any other
means of marriage improvement, something happens inside your brain
that makes you fall back into your old ways.
That “something” is a set of "instructions" on how to be married which
was given to you during your childhood by your parents.
If you're a woman, your mother showed you how to treat a man by the
way she treated her husband. If you're a man, your father showed you
how to treat a woman by the way he treated his wife.
These "instructions" are NEVER addressed, NEVER found or discussed in
marriage seminars or books. They are the "master program" that you
will always follow unless you identify and replace them with a
different, more positive set of instructions.
Your original instructions on how to be married were put into your
brain by your parents during your first ten years on earth. I call
these instructions, your "Invisible Lifestyle".
The reason they are invisible is the same reason why, when you’re
standing too close to a tree, you cannot see the forest. You must
step back, far back to see the forest.
In the same way, you are either living the way your parents showed you
to live...OR...you are living your life the OPPOSITE way you were
shown to live. Either way, what’s driving your actions is transparent
and very hard to see.
These instructions are what you will “default” back to for the rest of
your life...UNLESS you find them, dismantle them and replace them with
what you now believe in. There is a definite method to do this but
only those with a real desire should attempt it.
Want to discover how to dismantle your original programs and get your
marriage back on track?
Larry Bilotta’s
Marriage Lifeline gives you specific instructions on
how to replace those programs with new ones that will guarantee a
happy marriage.
